Judgement Day

My husband and I are really proud of the schedule that we have for our two babies. Most of the time, we experience life relatively chaos-free, and on top of that we get to enjoy 3 hours alone each night after the children are in bed. It comes with great sacrifice for us: we make sure that breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, naps and bedtime happen at roughly the same time each day. If that means we leave a party early, or have only one of us attend a function that we'd both love to be at, we do it. We go to the extreme to make sure that our kids experience the most balanced diet of life that they can. We attribute this strict schedule to the lovely fact that both of our children are asleep each night by 7:30pm, and although we may experience a night time feed or two with the little one, often we sleep uninterrupted until our 6am alarm clock goes off. The evening hours of alone time that my husband and I get to share with each other are so priceless and important to us, and that is another reason why we are so in love with the schedule we currently uphold.


Although this schedule will be with us for years to come, our need to be so involved will soon fade. Our baby is still nursing, and he will be nursing for another 7 months before he makes the jump to cow's milk. Once we are at that place, we will most definitely be scouting for the world's best babysitter. Until that time comes, however, we are happy to spend many evenings together at home, even if that means 'missing out' on late night gatherings, coming home early from dinner parties, or opting to stay home a lot more than the average Joe. Is our social life suffering? Maybe. But our true friends are supportive and understanding, and they will be waiting for us with a beer to toast when we can finally leave our brood with a babysitter for the night.

As I have mentioned above, my husband and I are totally happy with this schedule and the way it impacts our lives. We completely understand that it wouldn't be the number one choice for every family, and we also understand that many families don't 'get' why we are so strict with our schedule. Still, it was a bit shocking for us to learn that some family members and friends of ours have made comments behind our backs regarding our children's bed time routine being too strict. We need to 'lighten up' according to these people, and if we are at a party, we should just make a little bed out of coats in the corner and put our kids to sleep there so that we can party the night away! The thing that is most baffling about the judgement being placed on us is that it is coming mostly from childless couples.

Will I ever get used to being silently judged by those I care about? At this point the words cut through me like a knife. I tried to laugh it off, all the while thinking that one day, when they have kids, they will understand - but maybe they won't. I've talked about being a judgmental new mom in this previous post, and what I have learned in the past two years is that every child, every parent, and every family is very different. What might work great for one family will bring chaos to another, and one parent's 'go to' methods may boggle another parent's mind. All we can do is stick to our guns and know that what we're doing is the right thing for us, right now.